un-wrap this

it should come as no surprise that i struggle with the holidaze 

this year is an exception in that i just can’t…couldn’t

the apocalypse is just too much this year

and let me explain the part of apocalypse that i mean…the part that is about the unveiling the revealing what is being hidden, covered up.

i kinda felt, as many others around the world, that we should just all cancel christmas, or totally change it up this year. recognize what it truly means deep down for each of us, once bethlehem canceled all their activities, events, celebrations… i mean if the birthplace of christ is cancelling the birthday party should the rest of us show up? and santa’s north pole has melted so….

so i was all prepared to go inward. do my work. lay low (usually my goal), but i woke to the news that israel bombed bethlehem. fucking bombed bethlehem on christmas day! paid for and sponsored by the u.s.

my personal theme for this year has been “when someone shows you who they are believe them” well world…here is israel. and the u.s. and great britain. and europe

i wish i could say i was surprised, but i unfortunately was not. 

i’ve read too much.

i learned about zionism vs judaism by reading books and talking to former Israeli soldiers. i’ve gone to talks featuring palestinians who have found some kind of refuge in the u.s. where they have talked about all the palestinian homes they have been to having these little wooden boxes holding keys to the homes they hope to one day get to return to. stories of settlers, colonizers showing up at these home to claim them as their own with warm food still on the table, fire in the oven, in the hearth, that is how much time they had to escape their homes. the advantage of traveling the way i do (on foot, by bike, moving slow, talking to strangers) i get to hear stories. i get to hear music that tells stories. the land tells stories. things unfold and open up to be studied and unlearned. something in my life i am without a doubt grateful for, even for the things i did not want to know.

so ya, you can color me many different colors, but surprised is not one of them.

nothing has changed since 1948 for the palestinians. escalations for sure, but constant violence from the zionist, that has not.

so, anyway, i got curious as to how far away bethlehem is from the gaza strip and just kind went down a google-map rabbit hole of the area. at first i got a little confused because palestine is not listed on the map at fucking all! nowhere! gaza is. and the 1950 line, but palestine is not named anywhere. so i looked it up…google maps has never had it ever. even with public outcry….nope has not changed it. could be one way google got on the boycott, divest, sanction movement list?

what i did find? a hotel by banksy! yup! a pro-palestinian art hotel! (it is called the walled off hotel if you want to check it out) looks freaking rad. probably not there any more. in fact when you click on a place you want to visit in the area (like all the national parks and such) you get this little note that says “information about this place may be outdated. always pay attention to real-world conditions, which may be rapidly changing”. geez!

so ya, Bethlehem was bombed on christmas day. should have made the spirit of the palestinian born and raised christ very at home.

so what do we do when hand ringing and sending hope and prayers fail us?

what do we do when our “leaders” show us who they are? when we realize they have all done this? when we see that our tax dollars bought and paid for it while we have our own crisis going on here?

these question usually lead me to what am i covering up in myself? where am i complacent? what do i need to get honest about to myself?

is it any wonder we are a heavily medicated society?

if it helps…

for most cultures throughout time, time like the rest of all things, is not linear but cyclical. it may indeed feel like the end of the world, but it is not. the cycles keep moving, the season do change but things will not look familiar except of course when they do.

what we take forward with us with what we leave behind (process digest assimilate release) maybe that is what we take with us as we cycle through this moment.

to me the exciting thing about an apocalypse is the opportunity to do the uncovering. to see the fallacies as to see that there have always been those who see though the smoke and mirrors. they tend to be our storytellers, our healers, and the persecuted. but without seeing and feeling what it is in us that needs healed, well we just keep repeating the same bullshit each cycle.

its work

its the work of lifetimes

so might as well get to it

pitter-patter